Welcome 2014!

The Very First Day of The Year! 

  Before I talk about this morning's adventures...  A quick recap of last night's mayhem and a little pep talk to those who may doubt the power of bedtime, routine, etc.  Let me start by saying that last night's story is a kin to when the NTSB investigates a plane crash.  It is never ONE SINGLE event that brings a plane down.  It is a series of events that result in one catastrophic outcome.  See how many "events" that lead to my catastrophic outcome that you can find!!!  (Highlights for parents!!)

Swishy waves ~ Swishy waves ~ Swishy waves ~ Flashback to last night....

  At last minute (8:00pm) we were invited to our dear friends a few houses down to watch the ball drop.  We went but wound up leaving at 10:40pm.  Darling Daughter started off a little rammy.  They have five children between them and as an only child she jumps at the chance to play with them all!  It was awfully close to 8:30 her usual bedtime but it IS New Year's Eve and I promised her to stay up til midnight....  Then it begins....  "Let's have a spinning contest in the other room." (Translation, I'm super tired and now I'm seeking out sensory inducing activities to keep my brain going.) A gaggle of kids pour into the other room which also cooler and begin, but quickly then stumble back out, thus disturbing us AND, game OVER...
                 
     STOP...  I do not like Darling Daughter spinning.  It makes me nauseous and it does NOT appear to settle her down.  I do not allow her to spin around in the house.  I did not think this was a good idea.  WHY???  Did I allow it?  Because I was simply too darn tired to fight, it got her out of my face for a second and all the other kids followed and no other parent stepped up. 
 
 We had already eaten dinner of course and all the other kids were having cake and candy so Darling Daughter enjoyed water and the Gluten Free cookies that I have stored there for her when we come over.  Then the other kids begin to get rammier and so does ours, and its getting later, and its getting louder, and there is running and yelling, and finally I've had enough!  "Hubby, we need to get her home.  I'm ready to lay on the couch and watch the ball drop.  Guys, thanks so much for having us over.  We will talk to you tomorrow."  I look at the Darling Daughter and without a heads up ask her to put her shoes and coat on, BUT I then start a conversation with the mom.  Darling Daughter interrupts me, I look at her, "Rude." and quickly back to our conversation.  That's it. 

LLAMA LLAMA MAD AT MAMA! 

COAT THROWN ON FLOOR, SHOES OFF, THROWING HERSELF AT FLOOR OF LAUNDRY ROOM DOOR, CRYING.  "SHE DOESN'T SPEND ANY TIME WITH ME!!! I'M STAYING HERE!"

  We scooped her up, forced her to say, "Thank you again, Happy New Year's and Good Bye." through tears and sobbing.  Her speech slurred.  She is like dealing with a drunk.  It is not my child.  She is belligerent, she is illogical, she is irrational, she will hurt my feelings, it stinks.  I'm sure you've seen "drunk kid" at your house.  Stayed up too late, "I'm not tired!" then clunks out on the couch. Last night could have been prevented.  Did it turn out okay?  Sure!  Would I want to do it every night?  No way!  Are there parents who are?  YES! 
 
  Technically my mistakes last night started when we accepted a last minute invite to a neighbor's house but BRAVO to Darling Daughter for handling it.  There was a time when THAT IN ITSELF would not have gone well.  It helps that we were going to a place with FIVE children to play with.  Clearly I could not have accepted a last minute invitation for us to sit in a silent Buddhist meditation "celebration" for four hours with Darling Daughter.

  There was the past her bedtime, holiday attitude coming in, excitement of the New Year, Spinning Contest that I let go on....In addition, I did not give her a 10 minute heads up on leaving which is always helpful in departures.  I did not look her in the eye and say, "Excuse me, you're interrupting me." I just blurted out "Rude." 
    On the other hand, Darling Daughter must learn to not interrupt.  It is times like these that I wish I had a keyboard air duster and when she interrupted me, I could gently shhhhh her with air.  Too animal trainer of me???  Don't call the state I won't try it!

 

But at the end......  BOOM goes the dynamite...

It was just a disaster.  Again, we made up.  We curled up and watched the ball drop.  Lots of hugs and kisses.  And I was reminded that Darling Daughter is still just 8 and oh how I miss the days when we could change the clocks and fool her about Midnight.

**LESSONS FROM TODAY


 FOR EVERY DAY:
     
   Are you keeping a consistent sleep schedule EVEN on the weekends?  THIS INCLUDES meals and snacks.  Deviations every now and again are fine just be prepared for what you get.

  Give your child a plan for what is ahead of them for the day.  Unexpected events do happen but the less that happen and the more schedule there is, the more relaxed your child will be with transitions.

Transitions are leaving too, that's the 10 minute heads up, also allowing your child to be the POLITE kid at someone's house that actually uses those last ten minutes to put away the toys they've been playing with, because THAT'S WHAT GOOD GUESTS DO!

You reap what you sow.  I suck when I'm tired and I'm 37.  Why would I expect my eight year old to be better in a over stimulated, hot, sleep deprived situation.

Darling Daughter still has to learn her place about not interrupting adults when they are speaking.  An ongoing battle and I am encouraging my readers to please send suggestions other than squirt bottles and air cans.

Always end on a good note.  No argument is ever worth going to bed angry.  Not with your spouse, your partner, your child, or your pet.

 

Swishy waves ~ Swishy waves ~ Swishy waves ~ Flashback to this morning....

 

Since my barn manager has off for New Year's I WAS in charge of feeding ALL the animals this morning.  Ahhhhh, those majestic beasts!  Well, they were not so majestic seeing as how hubby set the alarm in his festiveness last night for PM not AM....  So I was late... 

    The horses were none too happy with me, neighing and I was lucky enough to have all their feed set out for me.  I quickly dumped all their feed and then headed to feed the outside guys.

 

  Later on Darling Daughter and the Hubby came back to help me.  Hubby refilled my water buckets and helped move some poop for me.  Darling Daughter read off how many flakes each horse got for hay.  (READING PROJECT and she didn't even know it!  Haha!)

 

 Darling Daughter then DROVE, yes I said DROVE me around in the golf cart to deliver hay to the horses.  She drives like a LITTLE OLD LADY.  NO SHOCKER THERE!!!!  She is 8 going on 88.

 

I was depressed to see how poorly I did my barn managers job.  Gone are the days I had in my EARLY 20's when I could bang out stalls and teach in a classroom and come home and grade papers.  I was exhausted, my body was killing me, and I did the job like a SLUG!  Thank goodness I don't get paid by the hour or I would fire myself!  Depressed, I called my best friend,

  "You know Undercover Boss?"  I asked

  "Yeah." she said

   "Well, I'm failing at it.  Apparently I suck."  I replied

   "No, you have learned how to delegate.  Do you want to be a great instructor with a dirty barn, a lame instructor with a clean barn or a great instructor with a clean barn and you let somebody else do their job???  You can't do it all.  It doesn't work."

 

   I am so blessed to be able to phone a friend and have that kind of brilliance answer.  So I pass that on to you.  Don't try and be EVERYTHING, allow others to take responsibility, for their own actions, for helping you, and for caring for you.  May 2014 be everything your heart is asking for and all it doesn't even know it wants or needs!