Count Down to 2014!!! Eeeek!

HAPPY NEW YEAR'S!!!!!

Believe it or not, I'm not a big New Year's Eve fan...  This party was an attempt at making me like it more....

 

Wait 2013 I wasn't Done!!!!

 

So the end of 2013 is here, let me start by explaining my feelings and overall anxiety about New Year's.  I try so stinkin hard all year to "just keep swimming, just keep swimming" and to get all my to-do things done on my list, but it inevitably I fail.  There is no possible way I could get everything on my to-do list done. 

       I say yes to, too many projects, I have ambitions of what I want for my barn, I love baby animals so I'll just add a few more to our mix, I'll try to be the best mom I can be, the best wife I can be, something's gotta give, right?  So, of course, when New Year's comes, instead of looking at all the great things I have accomplished, I look at all I just didn't get done. 

 

WHAT A BUMMER WAY TO LOOK AT IT!!!  WHAT A BONEHEAD I AM!!!!

 

   I recently learned of an elderly woman I loved and had the utmost respect for.  She suffered for many years from depression and the holidays, starting at Halloween would be horrible for her.  I knew, this would trigger her depression, but I assumed it was seasonal, or something else.  Recently, I learned my dear loved one, would attempt to send HUNDREDS of hand written Christmas cards.  Everyone she ever met, distant friends, military friends of her husband.  Each got a personal note, even as her eyes failed and her hands got shakier and shakier.  Needless to say, while still attempting to run her household, she struggled to finish all of her hundreds of cards and prepare everything to her standard for the holidays.  And all of this, among other things, took its toll on her leading to her depression.

 
   My heart broke when I learned what triggered her depression.  I understood.  I can not possibly live up to the expectations I set for myself.  My laundry piles up and I joke about Mt. Washmore.  My floors get dirty, know why?  Because when I least expect it, a goat comes into my house! Or my husband is PLAYING with a goat on his leather chair.

 

  But the point is, I am simply trying my best, and I think the animals bring extra love and fun into our lives.  They force us to have a schedule, which is so key to dealing with ADHD and dyslexia and WHO DOESN'T work better with a schedule?  Who doesn't work better when they know exactly what is expected of them???  Its not just us!  But with extra love comes extra work and MESS!

 

 

 

 

 

 
 

 It isn't just the animals, it is all the arts and crafts.  It is the beads I step on and curse when I feel like I have stepped on some sort of foreign object, wreaking havoc on my heel!  It is the glue and sticky stuff I can't get off my counter and now hubby has to make a new better counter...  (More work for him...)  It is the dried dog pee from an older dog that found yesterday's rain just a little too inconvenient to go out in.  It is the artificial tree dropping needles. ???  How is that possible??  WTH?!?!?! 
 
So, this 2014 I am not trying a bunch of resolutions I can't keep.  I am just trying to keep on keeping on trying my best.  I will love my hubby and daughter and family and friends with all my heart.  I will try to get myself to church a little more often.  I will try to drink a little less diet coke.  (I love it.  Bad I know!!!)  I will try better to say no when I don't have enough time to take on a new project, I will take a chance to breathe and disconnect, put my phone down and live in the moment with my family.  I will keep trying to find the key to unlocking the mysteries of ADHD and dyslexia but I don't want to FIX Darling Daughter.  I want her just the way she is!  Just able to sit still long enough to get the info and able to read and write well enough to express her awesome thoughts.  That's all I'm asking for. 

One last thought from the farm....

  People ask often how Darling Daughter feels about life and death, does she accept it, living on a farm.  She does.  My job has the greatest highs and the lowest of the lows.  I have the greatest pleasure of having to work with animals that feed my soul daily, and watch people's faces as they their ah-ha moment and learn a new skill, master a new skill, win in the show ring, go off to compete in college, purchase a new horse, etc.  But I am also the person who has to make the final decision when no one else has to.  The decision when quality of life is what is most important and our own heart and feelings must take a back seat.  I feel honored and blessed to have been given this responsibility.

  A HIGHLIGHT FROM 2013...So this year, one of my dear students and I rescued a baby fawn from the river that was drowning, via kayak rescue.  That was an awesome moment.  The fawn did not survive, due to a spinal injury, but we tried.  It took us so much work to get to the poor screaming creature, then it took us hours to drive it to a facility that would take it and I even got told off by another woman for not bringing it to her.  But, rescuing the fawn, showing an 18 year old girl that sometimes you do go above and beyond for one of God's creatures even if the outcome doesn't look so good, that was a lifelong lesson for her and me.  And Darling Daughter got to experience a very teachable moment from start to finish.
  Everything has a time and purpose. 

 

 

 

Tomorrow I will get back to meals and schedules, activities and things that help everyone in their life of helping their child with ADHD and dyslexia.  (PS:  Did I ever mention that both the hubby and I are dyslexic and the hubby brought the ADHD to the genetic table?  So all this stuff works reall well for all three of us!)  But for the very last day of the year.....

  You have a time and purpose on this Earth.  You have an important job to do, today and every day.  Don't put too much stress on yourself trying to be the next Gwyennie Paltrow.  Your best at being you.  I'm best at being a whacko mom that sometimes lets goats come in the house!  From our herd, to yours, may your 2014 be filled with love, good health, prosperity, and fun!!!