A Lost Phone... Discon WHATTTTT???

Dear Friends,

 I would love to say that losing my phone has opened my eyes to a quieter world, that I am at peace and that I feel better without it.  I'm sorry but I am FREAKING OUT!!!  Sometime, between 9pm last night and 7am this morning I lost my phone.  Maybe in our own house? Maybe in my car? Maybe at our family's house we visited last night?  It is of course on vibrate and I did not know you had to actually download the find my phone App in order to find an iPhone.  I THOUGHT it automatically came with it.  I ASSUMED it came with it. 

Today's Life lesson number 1: 

Assumption is the mother of all you know what's.

 

  So, I wake up this morning and I begin the search.  I have no idea where the phone is.  Our schedule was COMPLETELY off because we went to a family party, on a school night, getting home late, I fell asleep in the car, Darling Daughter fell asleep in the car. So, this morning, was not even our normal schedule.

 

Life lesson number 2:

Chaos creeps into our lives when we open the door for it.

 

   But the party was so much fun, Darling Daughter saw her great grandmother, celebrated her great, great aunt's 85th birthday, her grandmother and grandfather and uncle's 60th birthdays, she saw cousins and gave gifts.  She heard stories and made people laugh!

 

Life lesson number 3:

Every once and a while, it's okay to stay up late on a school/work night, but be prepared for the repercussions and make sure it was worth it!

  

  ****I would like to ALSO point out that by good fortune, Darling Daughter had a good day at school.  I am not sure WHY she had a good day at school because she went under less then desirable conditions very late to bed, up early, etc.  Yet, she did great, so THAT is a BIG BLESSING!!!  Thank you!!!

 

  Back to the phone search....... So I have cleaned the house, I have cleaned my car, I have searched pockets in the wash.  All of this makes me so mad.  I am so mad at me!  This isn't the first time I've lost my phone.  I've promised Hubby that I would back it up EVERY TIME I bought a new one. Every hour I've spent today searching for this phone I've found one more corner of my house that I need to organize.

 

Life lesson number 4:

ADHD and dyslexic people thrive in an orderly setting.  But they have a hard time keeping it that way.

 

This whole phone thing has stressed me out, stressed me out, stressed me out.  I've cleaned like a maniac today AND turned my house upside down.  I'm pleased with myself for what I have cleaned, have made a list of the closets I need to address and clean out and have a pile of clothes to give away.  But yet, still no phone.  I had panic today that there would be an emergency at school or with Hubby.  I called Hubby to make sure he called the school to make sure they would call him first IF there were an emergency (they must think I am NUTS!) because my phone is M.I.A. 

 

 But!!!  It is JUST a phone.  I am not searching for Darling Daughter or Hubby, right?  A phone can be replaced.  If something can be replaced, we have to let it go.  Maybe my phone will turn up, maybe it won't.  Maybe fairies have carried it off, maybe the dogs ate it.  But in the end, it is JUST a phone.  The quiet in the car may be lonely, having no iTunes may be inconvenient, but, in a few days, whether it is a new phone, or my good old pink camo colored phone, I will have a new phone and the loneliness and the quiet will end.  So before it does, I better remember

 

Life lesson number 5:

I am supposed to be learning something right this minute, even if it is inconvenient.  I need to learn this lesson so I can move forward.

 

Until we meet again my friends, I am out of touch, LEARNING to like it and spending time with my family WITHOUT taking pictures, checking texts, or emails.

 

All the Best,

TMBM



Sit Daughter, Sit. Good Daughter!!!

The Dog & Pony Show
 

 

 

 

 Today I am pulling the curtain WAY back on my land of Oz.  You know "Pay no mind to the man behind the curtain..."?  Today, I am telling you to pay EVERY ATTENTION to the woman sitting behind the keyboard because today is all about the performance.  What performance?  The dog and pony show I ask my daughter to perform every time family from out of town comes, or we go out of town to see them.  It doesn't stop there, it reaches the annual visit to the pediatrician too, but let's start with what I'm doing and how poorly I am.. Or maybe I'm not, behaving...  Notice I say me, not her.
 

 

   Darling Daughter's cousins only see her once a year, they live on the opposite side of the country.  This means that I need to make sure that Darling Daughter's aunts and uncles see the Darling Daughter I want them to see during that specific time or their entire year could be clouded right???  My own aunts and uncles see Darling Daughter once a year, so of course we expect "best behavior" that day too, right?

 

 

   The problem is, that being "on your best behavior" might not happen , especially if it is a holiday.  Or with people who follow Darling Daughter here or through Facebook but she doesn't see them and so she doesn't really know them.

 

  My anxiety builds days, sometimes weeks or months ahead of time.  How will she behave?  Will they ask her to read?  Will she say please and thank you and excuse me?  Will she wait her turn with the other children?  Will she get along with the other kids?  (They are a well established gang after all!) Will the other aunts and uncles accept her diet or challenge me on everything I feed her?  All of these horrible anxieties swirl through my head.  Guess who picks up on all this anxiety?  Darling Daughter!  Guess how well she behaves when I'm anxious? Terribly!  And guess how founded these fears are....  

TOTALLY UNFOUNDED!!!! 

That it the MOST ABSURD PART!!!

 

  My expectations are totally unrealistic for Darling Daughter.  My expectations for myself are totally unrealistic.  I want to turn my little house into a Relaix & Chateuax resort with 1600 thread count sheets and fluffy towels.  I'm asking my husband to paint the rooms and I'm looking at new couches.  WHAT AM I DOING???

 

   Stop the crazy train!!!  This is me, this is Darling Daughter.  We are who we are.  My family loves me and if Darling Daughter says something silly while we are there, well they will have a GREAT story to tell when she accepts her Nobel Peace Prize, won't they? 

  

And if my air mattress isn't quite perfect?  Oh well, I tried.  One day, when I am rich and famous and Darling Daughter's college is paid for I will have a beautiful guest room in my East wing, but until then, my little spare office will have to do.

 

  So, take a deep breath.  Only remind your child to be their best.  Their best is all they can be and that is all we should be asking from them.  I can only be me and I'm just trying my best.  Until we meet again my friends, keep being you and I will keep trying to be me.

Exercise, Team Sports, & Lessons

 

The tiny Darling Daughter in her ONE & ONLY ballet recital!

• Horseback riding (Obvious one right?)
• Tae Kwon Do
• Ballet (a summer class) 
• Skating
• Hockey
• Swimming

  There is our list of Darling Daughter's attempted sports.  Horseback riding was the obvious one.  How great!  A daughter, born to a riding instructor, living on a 30 acre farm, ponies at her fingertips anytime, free lessons! To most little girls it sounds like a dream come true....  As a young mom and riding instructor, I CERTAINLY thought that Darling Daughter would eventually go to the Olympics, since I didn't get to go... 
 
 Her riding with me brought out the very worst of my parenting and coaching skills.  I did not speak to her the way I spoke to other children at my farm, I was MEAN.  I did not accept her being tired, although I completely understood when my four year old riders were sleepy.  I was terrible. I admit to all of this.  I'm a great riding instructor that had NO BUSINESS teaching my own child!  But the ultimate moment, was when I looked up at Darling Daughter and her eyes were swollen shut.  She looked like Kermit the Frog with his eyes closed, except she was pink.

  Time to go to the allergist...  Darling Daughter was allergic to Hay, Cats, Horses, Dust.

WAIT!!!  EVERYTHING AT THE BARN?!?!?!?!?

Soon we had the brilliant idea of giving her Benadryl before she rode.  (Red Food Dye40 AND it makes her CRAZY) That was a disaster and soon, Darling Daughter's riding career was over.  She was a beautiful rider but, she didn't love it.  I felt great that my daughter looked so lovely on top of a pony, but in the end, it was not her calling.  ***If you're wondering if it makes me sad???  Not at all!  Now, the barn is MY area and it is also my work.  I can separate my family from my work and from my sanctuary and that is very important to be able to do.



Soon, she wanted to do Tae Kwon Do and we signed her up for a WHOLE YEAR of lessons!!!  Grab that Gi and away we go!!!  Soon, Darling Daughter was the tallest of all the little children in her class, she was NOT sitting quietly in that meditation position.  One day I saw her LICK the hand pole! (GROSS!!!) Another day I saw her drawing with her fingernails in the mat.




  It was around this time I had started figuring out that Darling Daughter was dyslexic so imagine, how GREAT it  was when she learned her moves facing a mirror!!??  NOT!!  Soon, maybe 2 months in, our money had been wasted and after a rather fabulous Mulan / Tae Kwon Do birthday party....  She quit.



............



Winter came and with winter came ice skating.  Darling Daughter wanted to learn how to figure skate.  She even did a little exhibition!  We went through a few instructors, each bringing a lot of great things to Darling Daughter's lessons and two years later she decided, she wanted to play hockey...

GREAT!!!  She's supposed to be over 6' tall, so let's get her into a sport she can excel at, and maybe she'll do really great.  She went to camps, we bought the equipment and then one day...  DONE, crying, she told us, "I'm not happy, I'm good enough to go skate with my friends and the only thing I really want to do is swim."

We had kept her swimming for some time, she goes out on the boat, she loves to fish.  But more importantly, I married a surfer.  Neither of us played team sports, neither of us were running champions, I rode horses, and Hubby rode waves.  Neither are team sports (although we both competed on teams within the sports). The bottom line is, we have to allow our children all the opportunities to explore a bunch of different sports BUT NOT ALL AT ONCE!

  As a coach, I can not tell you how many riders come to me exhausted because parents (exhausted as well) have them going from one practice to another, to tutoring to this to that.  I UNDERSTAND!  I know there are only so many days in the week and so many hours in the day.  Simply ask yourself, who am I doing this for and why?  If I worked some of my horses as hard, as some of the parents that bring their children to my farm, if I kept them from their friends, fed them only in the trailer to and from lessons, I would soon have a lame, sour horse.  If your child isn't excelling at one sport maybe it is because you are trying to many sports at one time?  I am not being judgmental.  Darling Daughter must make a commitment to a sport and then stick with it for a designated amount of time before we start

 Exercise is REALLY important for the ADHD brain.  It is good for everyone!  In Darling Daughter it helps set her entire body into a rhythm.  It also burns lots of excess energy and she loves it.  Adult friends with ADHD tell me that they need 50 minutes of aerobic exercise every morning and then they can focus for the day.

I have also been advised about the great benefits of music and dyslexia.  Darling Daughter has not partaken in music lessons, but as I get information from a dear former rider friend, I will pass it all along to you regarding Music and its great benefits.

Until I get to stop and write again.  Allow your child to be who they will be.  I was once told my only job is to make Darling Daughter a nice person, a good person... Reading and Writing will come along.  And please, take a moment and enjoy life for a second!

Technical Difficulties

Dear Faithful Readers, 

  For some unknown reason, I am having MAJOR technical difficulties with the blogger website.  If any of you other bloggers are experiencing these problems, please advise me!  I have written several great pieces and have tried to publish them with pictures and they have been lost.  I am now hesitant to put more time in if this is going to continue.  :-( 
       I promise to be back soon! 

Stay warm if you are in the Polar Vortex like us! Its TOO COLD for the goats to even be outside!  

Goats in the house, goats in the house.  Looking like a fool with the goats in your house!

 (Maybe THAT'S why the blogs not working!!! Too Cold!!)

Be Back Soon!!!

:-)

Dairy Bumps, Allergies, & Intolerances

When Darling Daughter was a toddler, eating solid food, a woman out of no where approached me in a health food store.  She looked at my daughter's arm and said, "You know, if she stops eating dairy, those will go away."  I looked at her, perplexed and the woman smiled at me and walked away.
 
   Some people may look at that kind of interaction and be annoyed at a nosey person.  I look at it as a message.  Everyone and everything comes in to our life, sometimes for a moment, sometimes for an hour, sometimes for a lifetime, but everything has a message we're supposed to at least HEAR.  Whether you take the message is a whole other discussion for another day.  But on this particular day in the food store, I heard the woman and then continued along my shopping.

  Ice cream was a staple for Darling Daughter.  How on Earth could I go dairy free?  I love cheese, WHY would I go dairy free?  What about when we go places?  It seemed impossible and THIS was pre-gluten free for us!  However, I began doing research on dairy bumps.  Also known as....

 

Keratosis Pilaris



 

By definition Keratosis Pilaris appears as small bumps, usually on the upper arms and thighs. The harmless condition is caused by a buildup of the protein keratin that can plug hair follicles.  (WebMD)

 

Darling Daughter gets bumps on the backs of her arms, sometimes on her cheeks.  Some people believe Gluten is another big factor in to this.  However, I have not seen the actual research on this.  On a personal note, I know that after holidays, Darling Daughter, and my own K.P. gets worse.

 

Why does this happen? 

 

   We went to an allergist who tested Darling Daughter for all sorts of things.  She of course came up completely allergic to everything at the farm...  HENCE she doesn't ride anymore.  But, she was a beautiful rider...  Any how, she was not ALLERGIC to dairy, it is considered to be an intolerance.  Her allergist explained to us, that the dark circles under the eyes are a result of poor sleep.  Even if she is going to bed at the correct time, if she is stuffed up, if she has phlegm, she will not sleep as deeply as a growing body needs. 

 

 Now, keep thinking this through...  Bad sleep equals....Tired kid equals, cranky kid, equals not sitting still, equals, tantrums...  Are you getting the picture???

 

But why? 

 

   Okay so the allergist also explained to us, that many kids with ADHD, kids that have had frequent ear infections (big one for Darling Daughter) and have been exposed to a bunch of antibiotics, etc. they have what is called "Leaky Gut" syndrome.

 

Here's some information on Leaky Gut and why it is bad:

 

LOTS OF DEEP LEAKY GUT INFORMATION HERE

 

Here's the very basic gist...  Some of us have little holes in our guts.  We aren't baby cows so we weren't really meant to drink cow milk. There are enzymes and things in milk that we can't break down and they get into the blood stream and they have to go somewhere.  They could come in the form of phlegm, or snot, OR dairy bumps!!!

 

  So what can you do??? 

 

     1)  Get the dairy and caseins out of your diet!  Try it for 30 days and see if your bumps improve!

     2) Serve more meat on bone, long cooked meats allowing the marrow to come out.

     3) Look for a GOOD probiotic that you KEEP in your refrigerator!  (If you don't keep it in the  fridge, its no good.)

     4)  I HEAR serving Liver is really imperative.  I haven't tried this...  I will let you know how it goes.....

     5)  Make a dairy bump scrub for your special kid!!!

 

  I found a fantastic recipe for an exfoliation scrub. 

                          1/4 cup of olive oil

                          1/2 cup of sugar in the raw

 

I have Darling Daughter measure out all of this and then off she goes to take a bath!  Use this great exfoliation right on those nasty Dairy Bumps.  You can do this once every 10 days or so, but don't let your kids scrub themselves raw!  You will be amazed at how GREAT this works!  Darling Daughter loves using this scrub! 

 

 

And the moral of the story is, that I DO still eat some cheese, (my French heritage?), Darling Daughter refrains from all dairy and caseins, vegan cheese tastes GROSS, although I am always looking for one that we might be interested in eating, and coconut milk works great!  So, MOOOOOOOOOVE over cows!  We love you and you are cute and all, but it is time for us to stop consuming your milk. 



Red Dye 40

  When Darling Daughter was little, we fed her all sorts of foods.  We indulged in Dunkin Donuts with sprinkles, ice cream with sprinkles, pink pedialyte, you name it.  How about those great little lollipops at the bank?  Sure, Darling Daughter, why not???  Enjoy one!  As long as you're brushing your teeth and eating three square meals a day, what could it hurt as a "sometimes food" right?  What about cotton candy at the circus?  I started noticing one thing about Darling Daughter...  After I gave her anything that had Red Dye 40 in it, she would begin spinning, then she would begin running into things, ramming things, very physical, very aggressive, eyes rolling around in head, licking lips, totally bizarre.  But I knew nothing about Red Dye...

  Then we went to Disney World.  Darling Daughter was probably 4 and a half at the time.  While we were there, the hotel offered a kids club where we could check Darling Daughter in and go out for dinner.  We fed Darling Daughter and hubby had picked up some Red Goofy Gummies, we gave her THREE, dropped her off at the kids club and headed for dinner.  When we returned to the kids club, the child care provider made some comment about Darling Daughter obviously being an only child.  Bizarre.  But whatever...  So, that night I went to bed but in the morning I woke up and asked hubby, "Did we discuss her being allergic to Red Food Dye last night or did I dream that?"  We had not discussed it... 
   Mother's intuition?  Universe talking to me?  Who knows!  But, we returned home and looked up Red Food Dye 40 on youtube.  Guess what???  Look it up!  Scary stuff!  All the little kids did EXACTLY what Darling Daughter did!  Spinning, ramming, eyes rolling, tongues wagging, WHACKO weirdness. That was the first clue!!!  This is NOT JUST my child!!!  This is a neurological reaction!!! 
  But wait..  There's more!!!  Look up how England and most of Europe feel about Red Food Dye40...  Its banned!!!  It is gone and they LOWERED the numbers of children on ADHD/ADD meds.  Look it up!  Amazing!  So, we banned Red Food Dye40 and all his little friends.
 

But BEWARE!!! 

  Red Food Dye 40 is in everything and it is in a bunch of stuff that 1) isn't red and 2) isn't necessarily eaten!  For about a day, hubby argued with me about pink soap.  Bubble bath more specifically.  Ponder this, your skin is your largest organ.  It absorbs..  Don't believe me?  Well, if I pour a cup of cocaine in a hot steamy bath would you feel comfortable soaking in it???  I don't think so!
  Not all people have problems with artificial dyes.  This happened to be another easy and obvious thing that happened to be an environmental trigger for Darling Daughter.
 

Do we cheat?

  

  No.  Red Dye 40 is one thing we can't cheat on.  We allow Darling Daughter to cheat on Dairy and Gluten on holidays, but dyes are a non-negotiable.  My hope is that our government one day adopts the same views as other countries that have banned this chemical in our foods.

 

  Until we meet again, my friends, all the best to you and your wonderful family.  Enjoy all the blessings that today brings you!!!



 

Meals, Meals, and Meals!

The Snow is Coming!  The Snow is Coming!

Here on Cranbury I am preparing for a snowstorm and I still have the Darling Daughter home until this upcoming Monday.  However, some of you have had your beloved children head back to school and I wanted to take a moment and address some of the questions I've been receiving.

Meals, Meals, and More Meals...

 
  Some fun facts about cooking with me...  I don't taste any of the meat I'm cooking and I don't really know what I'm buying so when cooking for carnivores like Hubby and Darling Daughter, I bat my eyes and ask for the advice of the butcher as to what I can get the best "bang for my buck" on meat wise OR "What are you going to bring home to your own family?"  They are always super happy to help me and Hubby and Darling Daughter are always pleased with what I bring home.  As I'm cooking I constantly smell what I'm cooking and just keep making sure things smell good.  OCCASIONALLY I have been known to mess up on the texture of something.  (Oh, well, Hubby didn't marry a chef...)
 
   Tweak ideas...  I do a lot of stews (the carnivores seem to like lamb, beef, venison, etc) this is an excellent way to sneak in vegetables.  I do a lot of soups like chicken soup.  The allergist, explained to me that Darling Daughter and others like her are missing a key ingredient of the diet that comes directly from marrow.  Cook more with meat on bone. (Yummmmm, says the pescatarian...) 

        We do a lot of chilis, a lot of stuff on the grill, a lot of chicken on the grill, baked chicken, roasted chicken, turkey, etc.  I take a lot of silly Rachael Ray's recipes and then just take out gluten and dairy and processed stuff.  I am always looking for new ideas so PLEASE send them to me!!! 

 
We don't cook every night and we do go out for dinner and order in.  HOW???  Because we order what Darling Daughter can eat when we go out.  She may have Prime Rib, grilled chicken over salad, scrambled eggs and a baked potato, all with her veggies or salad.  Of course she also eats a TON of fish and she has been known to eat 100+ clams on her own.  ~We have given up on gluten free cheese free pizza, Darling Daughter says it tastes like cardboard and she would just rather not bother.~

**I am absolutely not an expert on how to deal with the picky eater.  I have a very good eater and she understands that we treat her ADHD by her diet.  She is very aware of what she eats and she will ask when she is not around me (but is still polite.)  I have NO IDEA how people deal with picky eaters and I'm not going to pass judgement on anyone that has one.  God Bless you!!!***

Darling Daughter is also a huge fan of sushi, but we bring our own gluten free soy sauce (yes soy sauce is a big no-no) but apparently Edamame is okay as long as you aren't celiac (???) I don't quite understand this but I am open to comments and to being educated on how this all works.  Edamame is a big snack in our house HOWEVER I understand there are some children with similar or same diagnoses to Darling Daughter that can NOT eat these.  I have not witnessed any changes in her behavior from edamame, however if I did I would pull it.

So, any left overs from dinners could be lunch for Darling Daughter at school.  She gets a snack before lunch and I try to make sure that is a protein also so, that could be a rolled up piece of turkey, some celery with sun butter spread on it (nut free school... peanuts would make life easy though) or she has some power snacks I picked up at the Whole Earth center that she really seems to enjoy.  I think they're a little gross/chewy/weird but she seems to like them.

Fruit snacks, an orange, a juice, a bag of chips all of that is just going to crank her up, so I am NOT going to pack that as her snack.  And IF I do, she goes in with the understanding that is her afternoon snack.  Oranges and other citrus fruits, along with yellow fruits, strawberries and watermelon (high sugar content fruits) are sometimes fruits.  DEFINITELY DON'T START YOUR MORNING OFF WITH AN ORANGE JUICE!!!!  BAD IDEA!!!!  Why not just hand over a bowl of sugar?  Or Fruit Loops?

 I just keep sending in protein after protein, after vegetable, carrots, celery, cucumber slices, snap peas (Especially from the garden are a big hit!)  apple slices, and LOTS OF WATER!  A BIG treat for Darling Daughter is to have a Gluten Free cookie in her lunch, that would be like a Friday surprise!
 
  Do I sound like a food Nazi?  Maybe.  If your child was diabetic and you controlled their diabetes by their diet, you wouldn't think it was crazy.  If medicine doesn't work and you're willing to try something else, look in your cabinet, get the JUNK OUT!  Start stocking it with good things, read all the labels, anything you can't pronounce, you probably don't want to eat!  And simply give life a try like this for 30 days.  If you see no change, nothing has been lost.

  Tomorrow I will try to talk about Dairy Bumps and address some more emails I've been getting.  Remember go check your child for bumps that look similar to these:

 
Or maybe you remember them having that as a baby???  Personally I get less on the backs of my arms and more on the sides of my hips.  Darling Daughter also sometimes gets them on her cheeks.  You may also see dark circles under their eyes.  These are all signs again of a dairy INTOLERANCE.  It is not necessarily an allergy!  (Hence, Darling Daughter can drink milk and eat cake and it will not KILL her or even make her sick.  Her bumps WILL get worse though and her behavior WILL change!!!)

Please feel free to post your comments below, or email me. 

  Remember with all this snow, don't let them boob tube out!  Make them bundle up and get the heck out of the house.  Have a snowman contest, and don't do hot chocolate!!!  Why not just feed them 40 cubes of sugar and a few scoops of Sanka and wonder why their being obnoxious???  Find another warm up treat!  Try a little hot cider or take their favorite blanket and throw it in the dryer for 15 minutes with the most wonderful dryer sheets and then give them a HALF of a hot cider and a show!!!  You just saved yourself from a Hot Chocolate nightmare!  

Thanks for stopping by the farm today....  From our house to yours, until we meet again...  Stay safe, stay warm, check on your loved ones and your pets and take good care of yourself.